Frog Joke

[mel hubbard]

A beautiful, well endowed, young lady goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says: ''SEX FROGS! Only $20 each! Money Back Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions).'' The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, ''I'll take one.'' The man packages the frog and says,, ''just follow the instructions carefully.'' The girl nods,, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she takes out the instructions and reads them carefully. She does exactly what is specified: 1.- Take a shower. 2.- Splash on some nice perfume. 3.- Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4.- Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you. 5.- Allow the frog to follow its training. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and,, to her suprise,, nothing happens! ,,, The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says,,,, ''If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store.'' So,, the lady calls the pet store. The man says, ''I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over.'' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The lady welcomes him in and says,, ''See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there.'' The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says,,,,, ''LISTEN TO ME! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!''

[Reverb]

A priest and a rabbi are seated together on a plane. After a while, the priest turns to the rabbi and asks, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responds, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs." The priest then asks, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replies, "Yes, on one occasion, I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich." The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Father, is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The rabbi then asked him, "Father, have you ever fallen to the temptation of the flesh?" The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith." The rabbi nodded understandingly. He was silent for about five minutes, and then he said, "Beats the hell out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it?"

[shaihulud]

In a small country town with a Jewish and Catholic community, the preist and the rabbi decided, with their congregations blessings to buy a new car which they would share. When they got it home, the preist donned his vestments, conducted a small blessing ceremony and sprinkled the car with some holy water. The rabbi went next door to where he lived, returned with a hack saw and cut two inches off the exhaust pipe.